


SOTUS 143

by writeaboutnothing



Category: GMMTV, peraya - Fandom, พี่ว้ากตัวร้ายกับนายปีหนึ่ง | SOTUS: The Series (TV)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Falling In Love, Friendship/Love, M/M, Romance, Slow Burn, ex-lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:55:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24144736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writeaboutnothing/pseuds/writeaboutnothing
Summary: It all started with gears. The relationship lasted years. But it ended in tears.Once inseparable lovers, Arthit and Kongpob have been strangers for over a year now. A workplace shake-up brings them together once again. However, is there any point in reconciling or should they just move on?A SOTUS, SOTUS S and Our Skyy-SOTUS sequel envisioning.
Relationships: Oon Arthit Rojnapat / Original Male Character, Oon Arthit Rojnapat/Kong Kongpob Suthiluck
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I am first posting this story on the 2nd anniversary of SOTUS The Memories. I know we all wish for a SOTUS 3 and I truly believe it will come one day. For the meantime, please indulge in my story and I hope this can keep the fire burning for our beloved BL drama.
> 
> I have finished conceptualizing the whole story so what's left for me is to actually put them into words. In line with that, it will really push me if you can leave a comment, vote, and share the story to our KristSingto, Peraya, SOTUS, and other related fandoms.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> (cross-posted in Wattpad)
> 
> Disclaimer: SOTUS characters belong to Bittersweet

<

"P'Arthit wake up. We're going to be late."

It is an everyday occurrence that Arthit gets woken up for sleeping beyond his alarm. Even though he knows he has to wake up early every day, it doesn't change the fact that sleep is just what he was meant to do.

"Heeeeeeey! P'Arthit!" his cohabitant irritably says as he casually throws a pillow towards Arthit's way, hitting the sleeping fellow right dab smack in the face.

To his reply, Arthit just lets out a grumble of letters along with curled eyebrows, followed by pulling the sheets over himself, trying to block out any sunlight that reaches him or anything else that may be hurled towards his way.

"I'll go and shower first sleeping beauty." the other man says as he walks towards the bathroom with a towel in one hand and a speaker in another.

Still refusing to wake up, or rather get up, Arthit stays in bed.

Minutes pass by as he internally fights himself from dozing off once again although sleeping in might be next to impossible as the music being blasted from the bathroom is preventing him from doing so. After all, that is his real alarm. When that music starts playing along with hearing the sound of the water as they fall from the shower head to the floor, Arthit knows his daily schedule should commence thereafter.

Usually, he takes this moment every day to be thankful for everything that he has, a habit that he gained ever since losing his mother.

Arthit is thankful for a lot of things. He is thankful for the opportunity to live another day. He is thankful for having a job, which he enjoys one way or another. He is thankful for his friends who always have his back. Most especially, he is thankful for the gift of love, the love which has changed and is continually changing him for the better despite all the misgivings that have plagued him throughout the years.

Arthit can't help but pull his lips into a smile, a smile which is later caught by the newly showered person as he walks outside of the bathroom wearing only a towel around his waist. Arthit, preoccupied with his gratefulness, fails to notice the silencing of the music and the stop of the shower.

"P'Arthit, what are you so happy about?" the other person asked with amusement at the now pouting Arthit. "You wanna see more of me?" he teasingly says.

"Eeew! Yuck!" Arthit, acting disgusted says. "Get clothed, you're an eyesore."

"If you say so." the other boldly says as he rips his towel off his waist and starts to dress in front of Arthit.

"Eyyyyy! Stop that!" Arthit, who is now slightly blushing, protests shutting his eyes closed while obviously peaking around the corners. He doesn't mind seeing some skin.

The other person joyously laughs as Arthit plays the not so innocent boy. He turns around to save a little some for later.

"P'Arthit, take a shower already. We're going to be late for the assembly." the other says with a hint of concern.

Arthit gets up but before that, he puts up a genuine smile for life is good.

As Arthit passes by the dressing man who is still facing against him, he leans his head on the other's back.

"Love you." Arthit whispers.

"Love you too."

<<>>

After taking his shower, Arthit, in a hurry, dresses up. His significant other is browsing on his phone, doing his usual morning media consumption.

Once done, Arthit calls out the other person to tell him he is ready to go.

"Let's go........................................Toy."

>


	2. Hello

<

Arthit and Toy arrive late at the office as expected. The general assembly was announced earlier that week, but they didn't have any idea what it would be about. Their curiosity rises as they see a media van outside their office building.

Upon entering the building, the number of people scrambling the halls seems to be double that of Ocean Electric employees. People were settling down on their chairs as journalists were aplenty finding their own spot in front of the main stage. Some of the faces are unfamiliar to both Arthit and Toy but it seems like something big is about to go down soon.

As soon as they find their chairs reserved for the Procurement Department just tad bit to the right of the stage, they hit up Earth if she knows what's the assembly about.

"Good morning P'Earth. Do you know why we are all here?" Arthit inquires.

"Will we still have a job after this?" Toy jokingly says.

"Good morning! From the look of the banners in front, I think you'll figure it out." Earth says as she straightens up in her seat to point over to the stage where two banners are loosely hanged.

Arthit lifts his butt off his seat to see the banners beyond the crowding journalists. There are two banners side by side with each other. One is Ocean Electric, his current employer and the other one is of Siam Polymer Group.

_Siam Polymer Group?_

"Ocean Electric and Siam Polymer Group? Will we have a partnership with them?" Toy asks Earth while Arthit is still staring at one of the banners as he tries to digest the situation at hand.

"Honestly, I think it's going to be bigger than that." Earth replies, stealing a glance at Arthit as for sure he knows that company name all too well.

A few more seconds pass by and Arthit is still staring but not anymore at the banner but at what seems to be a blank space where the banner previously was.

Toy noticing Arthit looking perplexed shoots a question. "Hey you okay?"

"It's Ko..." Arthit replies almost instinctively, still looking at the banner, but he gets interrupted by the voice of the always hosting HR head, Durian.

"Good morning everybody! Today is a very special day for Ocean Electric and Siam Polymer Group. We are embarking on a new journey that will definitely bring exciting times to us all. Without further ado, please help me welcome the leaders of our company and Siam Polymer Group's board headed by Mr. Kerkkrai Suthiluck!"

As Durian introduces the distinguished guests, the board of both Ocean Electric and Siam Polymer Group walks up to the stage and begin to sit at the table set up across their name tags bearing their corporate title positions. All take their seats except the specially announced guest who took the podium ready to address the crowd gathered before him.

At that point, Arthit is finally coming into his senses. This person right in front of him is none other than Mr. Suthiluck, Kongpob's father.

Arthit can't help but wonder why the man was here. Yes, they were their supplier for some projects but you don't organize a general assembly just to introduce your supplier. Aside from that, he has another question in his mind. With Suthiluck the father being here, is Suthiluck the son also present?

Before Arthit once again gets lost staring like a lost boy, Toy places nudges Arhit, as if calling him back to the ground and reminding him that he is just by his side.

"Good morning everyone! I know a lot of you may be wondering why we are all gathered here today. Before I answer that, let me introduce myself. I am Kerkkrai Suthiluck. I don't know if you know me but I'm sure my friends from the procurement department knows me well."

Arthit, listening keenly, doesn't know if he should be honored of knowing the elder Suthiluck before.

"I've supplied to Ocean Electric for various projects and I saw personally how Ocean Electric prides itself in ensuring that only the most quality of products are put out in the market. On the other hand, my son, who interned here a few years back, saw how people here are passionate in their work turning hard work into the main driver that has greatly contributed to the success of the company."

At the mention of his son having interned there before, people started murmuring trying to remember who exactly that son was. On the other hand, at the mention of his son, Arthit is now swinging his left leg up and down out of uneasiness.

"That is why, it was an easy decision for me to acquire Ocean Electric in the pursuit of ensuring that every Thai citizen out there gets the most out of their money for products that they use every day. I believe the synergy that Ocean Electric and Siam Polymer Group has will be our weapon to dominate both the plastic and household appliance market."

With that announcement, applause ensues, pictures are taken, and whispered conversations take place. Some people are obviously shocked at the event. After all, a change of ownership in a company entails big changes, both good and bad.

Arthit, Toy, Earth, and Som-oh exchange glances. Earth is smiling out of curiosity of what the team has to say. Som-oh is plastering a fake smile, obviously directed at Arthit, knowing _the_ history. Toy is much more concerned about Arthit than the announcement.

As for Arthit, he sends out a forced smile to everyone.

Before they could converse, the elder Suthiluck continued on with his speech.

"I understand some of you have your questions, doubts, or apprehensions. Rest assured that Ocean Electric will continue to operate business as usual with minimal changes while we work on joining our forces together. To ensure that we will be able to do so, we will have a Transition Manager who shall be in charge of transforming the operations of Ocean Electric to be like that of Siam Polymer Group. Please allow me to introduce our Transition Manager, my son, Ko-"

_Kongpob._

Arthit did not need to hear that person introduced to know who will be the Transition Manager as he already saw Kongpob at the left side of the stage, getting ready to walk up, while the elder Suthiluck was speaking.

Alas, there he was, Kongpob, walking at the stage towards the podium. still looking lean but a little more toned than before and much more mature looking, but after all these years still retaining that youthful look. For lack of a better description, he looks like someone who takes care of himself. A very Kongpob trait.

The people in the procurement department are quite shocked that they were seeing Kongpop in front of them. It's been quite a while since they last saw him. However, they are also shocked because of another reason. After all, they know _the_ history Kongpob has with Ocean Electric. Or rather with Arthit. Nevertheless, Earth and Som-oh can't help but smile at the sight of their old friend who is now apparently going to be their boss.

Toy on the other hand is not smiling. Not because he despises the sight of Kongpob, he barely knows the guy, but out of concern to the man beside him who now looks like someone who just saw a ghost.

"P'Arthit..." Toy starts.

At the mention of his name, Arthit literally shakes off his surprised look, turning his face towards the one who called his attention.

"It's okay! I'm okay." Arthit says sheepishly to Toy, trying to assure him that everything's fine. Or at least he is trying to be.

Toy decides not to push the conversation. Obviously, Arthit has some things in his mind and forcing him to talk about it now will probably do more harm than good. After all, it's been almost two years since Arthit last saw Kongpob.

"Good morning everyone. I am Kongpob Suthulick from Siam Polymer Group. I hope all of you will help me in achieving success for Ocean Electric as we strengthen our relationship together. Thank you very much and I look forward to meeting all of you."

Kongpob is still as assuring as ever with his speeches. His calm demeanor makes him a perfect candidate for the position he is about to take. Plus, the good looks didn't hurt. No wonder he made a good head hazer.

"Thank you Kongpob! We're so happy to have you with us once again! Please take care of us!" Durian exclaims obviously suckering up to her new boss who she once wronged before. "Thank you everyone for coming to our assembly. Please wait for further announcements from your department heads for the next steps of the transition."

With that, everyone started to move out of the hall and went back to their work stations. Aside from footsteps, conversations can be heard as people traversed the hallways ranging from speculations as to why the old management decided to sell the company, to questions about layoffs, to trivial things like "Kongpob is cute."

For the Procurement Department, only Earth and Som-oh were talking about what had transpired. Arthit may or may not be a topic in their conversation. Toy was just walking a little slightly behind Arthit, not really sure of what to do.

Arthit, on the other hand, is lost in his thoughts, letting his feet do the walking without thinking of where they were going.

_"Shit. Is this really happening? What do I even say to him?"_

Arthit suddenly feels a tug on his shirt, untucking his backside, preventing him from walking further. As he turns around, he sees Toy with a worried look on his face.

"P'Arthit."

"Hey, don't worry about it." Arthit almost laughingly says. Well things just became so weird all of a sudden, he can't think of any reaction other than just to laugh it off. Plus, he still isn't sure of what to feel.

<<>>

Things go on as expected in the Procurement Department once they settle in. With an exception of course.

Arthit is obviously distracted. Earth needed to call out his attention when he did not respond and Toy had to call him out the second time if the first one was ineffective. Arthit's incapability to focus is obviously brought about by seeing Kongpob again. Everyone in the department knew that was to be expected and so everyone gave him a pass for his unproductivity.

In his defense, Arthit did try to get into the right headspace for work. From time to time, he shut his eyes and took deep breaths before attempting to do work. It was not working.

There is this rush of emotions in Arthit that it almost feels like he is drowning. The moment he gets to the surface for air, there is a pull that prevents him from doing so because as he begins to process one feeling, another emerges so he is unable to fully comprehend what he is feeling right now.

So Arthit tries to dig deeper into his emotions. He closed his eyes and took even deeper breaths than before, filling up his stomach with air and exhaling slowly through his mouth. As the air escapes his lungs, he isolates his emotions, one by one, taking time to understand what they are.

Nervous? Yes.

Annoyed? Yes.

Hurt? Yes.

Sad? Yes.

Relieved? Yes.

Happy? Uhm...yes?

Before Arthit could finish up his little meditation, a knock at the door broke his zone.

As Arthit was just beginning to open his eyes to see who it was that who knocked, Som-oh gave away the identity of the guest by screaming.

"Kongpob!!!!" Som-oh screams as she rushes to the door, taking Kongpob, who is only one step in, into a tight hug.

Kongpob is taken aback by the surprise hug but appreciates the warm welcome. As his head is pushed over the shoulder of Som-oh from the hug, he sees two people who are sitting in front of each other. One of them is unfamiliar to him, a young-looking guy who is politely smiling at him. The other person of course is no stranger to him.

Caught by the sudden turn of events, Arthit had a surprised look when his eyes met Kongpob's. That's probably not how Arthit wanted Kongpob to see him after what happened between them. On the other hand, Kongpob didn't want Arthit to see him smiling but being back at the Procurement Department office just gives him warm fuzzy feelings.

Earth, upon hearing the commotion comes out of her room to greet Kongpob. Unlike Som-oh, Earth with poise takes Kongpob into a hug which the latter respectfully reciprocates.

"Nice to see you again Kongpob! How have you been doing?" Earth asks the former intern.

"I'm okay P'Earth. Congratulations on your promotion as manager of the department." Kongpob deducts as she sees Earth coming out from the room where the previous manager used to situate.

"Thank you Kongpob. It has really been challenging for me after being promoted. Thankfully I have them to help me out." Earth says as she glanced her eyes towards her team to show them off to Kongpob.

"Oh! I don't think you have met Toy. He has been with us for a little over a year." Earth says with hesitation, as halfway through the sentence, she realized how incredibly awkward this whole thing is.

With the introduction, Toy gives Kongpob a wai to show respect to the man who held a higher position than him. He wanted to start things right with Kongpob and part of that is showing respect to your superior.

"Hi Kongpob. Nice to meet you." Toy says with deference to Kongpob, who felt uneasy with the formality. After all, he is the youngest in the room but he holds the most power.

All the while this is happening, Arthit was just keeping to himself, keeping his head down, looking at the floor, waiting for it to swallow him. It was only when Toy introduced himself to Kongpob where he tilted his head up to see how both of them would react to each other.

But as soon as Toy finished introducing himself, Arthit knew what would come next. There is no running from it. He would have to acknowledge Kongpob's presence. Fortunately, Kongpob knew this too. At some point they will have to recognize each other.

With that, Arthit and Kongpob locked eyes and gave a slight nod to each other. A nod with so many undertones that the others felt uncomfortable witnessing it.

After a few moments of awkward silence, Kongpob breaks it.

"Since it's already lunch, please join me with P'Yong and P'Cherry."

"Your treat?" Som-oh jokingly says as Earth just shakes her head in disbelief at the request.

"Yes, my treat." Kongpob, who wanted to be accommodating, says. "I'll go ahead and see you there."

Kongpob exits the Procurement Department and since it is already break time, the Procurement Department team members quickly finished up the tasks they were doing before Kongpob's visit and gathered their personal belongings.

Arthit was debating whether to go to lunch or not. To be honest, he did not want to. Time may have passed but the suddenness of everything just makes it seems like it was only yesterday when he last saw Kongpob.

Noticing the obvious discomfort of Arthit, Toy whispers.

"P'Arthit. Do you want to go?"

Arthit, for some few seconds, just stared at Toy. Eventually he nodded.

The debate in his head is still ongoing but Arthit decided to go. For one, notwithstanding his history with Kongpob, does he really want to disrespect his new boss? Moreover, they were in a group and for sure all the focus would be with Kongpob. He could just sit there and pass off the time. Ultimately, the argument that made Arthit decide to join the group lunch was Toy.

To put it simply, not going means he hasn't moved on, regardless of the fact if he actually has. For Arthit, showing that hasn't moved on feels unfair to Toy who he currently has a relationship with. Plus, if he didn't go, Toy wouldn't go as well and Arthit wanted Toy to get off on the right foot with Kongpob even if it's just a professional working relationship.

<<>>

The cafeteria was noisy. Not because there were a lot of people, but because of one group who decided that you cannot eat in peace for that day.

Seated at the middle of the table is Kongpob, with Yong on his left side, Durian in front of him, and Cherry in front of Yong. Upon the arrival of the procurement people, Earth for some reason racingly sat beside Kongpob, Som-oh in front of Earth, and Toy beside Som-oh. Left without choice, Arthit sat beside Earth, providing him with the least amount of visual of Kongpob, something he is grateful for.

The group started to eat merrily although Arthit is obviously eating at a slower pace than the rest. Kongpob also considerably had more food than everyone else since in between bites, he answered questions hurled at him.

Conversations mainly circled Kongpob's experience studying abroad. In one of the conversations, Arthit learned that Kongpob's stay got extended by almost a year from the original two years. Kongpob says it's for him to pursue studies in management but Arthit knows that's not totally the truth. Kongpob also shared how he made good friends with people of different nationalities and how his perspective widened from interacting with them. He also recounted the destinations he visited while studying abroad which envied the people in the table.

Arthit was just staring at his food. He knows it won't eat itself but he is not in the mood right now. It's nice to hear how Kongpob enjoyed his study abroad, but in his mind, he knows this is not the case, for himself and Kongpob. Or maybe Kongpob did enjoy his stay abroad and he was the only miserable one. Who knows?

Suddenly, Arthit winced in pain. He tried to muffle his pain by clenching his teeth. The pain came from underneath the table where someone apparently kicked him in the shin. There is only one who would do that and it was Toy.

Arthit looked at Toy to ask why he did that. Toy who was expecting that reaction just smiled at Arthit, a smile that is seemingly ordering Arthit to smile as well.

Toy noticed Arthit's brooding face and felt bad for him. He wanted to cheer him up and remove the frown on his face, which if other people saw, might raise some suspicion on how things ended between Arthit and Kongpob. Not that the people don't already have their own theories.

Arthit forced a smile just to appease his boyfriend. Toy chuckled as he knew he annoyed Arthit. Arthit looks cute when annoyed.

Unfortunately, that light moment that they shared was disturbed by a question asked to Kongpob.

"So, Kongpob, do you have anyone in your life right now?" Durian smugly asks Kongpob candidly.

Som-oh elbowed Durian quite hardly. Cherry choked on his drink due to shock from the question asked. Yong leaned back anticipating Cherry to spit out his drink. Earth looked at her plate pretending to pick up an imaginary piece of meat. Toy looked at Durian in disbelief that she could ask such a question. Arthit, for the first time this lunch, turned his head towards Kongpob curious to hear what his ex would say.

Kongpob looked like a deer in headlights. He expected to be asked that question but not on his first day back. At least he got the person asking that right. Durian after all was all about getting into other people's business.

After the initial shock, Kongpob just pursed his lip into a smile.

"No, I don't have." Kongpob calmly replies. However, this saddened Kongpob a little. Not because he can't stand being single but because he knew that question wouldn't be asked if things happened differently.

With his answer, the tension surrounding them lifted. Durian just smiled at Kongpob and the others as if apologizing for the tactlessness of her question. Everyone else just acted awkwardly after. Luckily break time is almost over so they didn't need to prolong the awkwardness of the situation.

They bid their goodbyes to each other and went back to their work stations.

Arthit is obviously still distracted but in some way, he is relieved to know that Kongpob is still single. Not that it matters to him anymore. But it just felt selfishly good for him.

<<>>

The hardworking employees of Ocean Electric continue their day as usual. Toy had to work doubly fast to cover some things Arthit weren't able to do earlier. He also had to get snacks for Arthit in the afternoon as Arthit refused to go out to the pantry in fear of walking into Kongpob. Arthit will eventually have to talk to him but if he can delay it, why not.

By the end of the work day, Kongpob is tired both physically and mentally. All the department heads met with Kongpob one by one in the conference room to lay out the plans and expectations for the transition that will be happening. It is only now sinking to him how big of a role he has as Transition Manager. More than the technical skills needed for the job, he knows that his main role is to keep people happy and productive in this ownership change. Additionally, it is only now sinking to him that he will be forced to interact with Arthit. Things aren't going to be easy but he'll take it one day at a time.

<<>>

The day has ended, Arthit and Toy were outside the building ready to go back to their apartment. However, the day may have ended but the night is still young. As the pair begin to walk, going towards their opposite direction is Kongpob. Eventually their paths meet and are both blocking each other.

Now, the three are face to face with each other. You can tell that it caught them off guard as their eyes widened from surprise.

Toy was the first one to react by greeting Kongpob.

"Hi Kongpob."

Kongpob just nodded in acknowledgement. Arthit, looking a little flushed, just looked away, ready to move along.

Arthit takes his first step but something unthinkable happens. Toy, quick on his feet, says something he doesn't know if he will regret later on.

"P'Arthit. Kongpob. I'll go ahead. I'll leave you two to talk." Toy says with a smile.

Now this really has taken both Arthit and Kongpob unaware.

"Toy!" Arthit screams with a hint of anger at the man. From the events of today, he thought Toy knew not to push the buttons when it comes to Kongpob. Yet here he is putting him on the spot.

Kongpob on the other hand feels like this is a good opportunity to reacquaint with his former friend...and lover. Well, he has to eventually talk things out with Arthit, something he wished he had done way sooner when things were just starting to spiral down between them..

But hearing Arthit yell at Toy, it also caused Kongpob to feel a little guilty. Here he is coming unannounced, disrupting lives, and God knows what else can he cause.

Toy flinched a little when Arthit screamed at him but he knows Arthit well. This is just a knee-jerk reaction and he knows Arthit knows he means well. He initially wanted to give Arthit space, but knowing Arthit, he would just run away from the conversation.

Toy just smiled at Arthit.

"See you at the uhm...See you." Toy says to Arthit. He was supposed to say "see you at the apartment" but he doesn't want to appear as if he was rubbing it to Kongpob's face his relationship with Arthit. That and the fact that they are living together.

Toy proceeded to walk away, leaving the two long lost friends and once lovers to themselves.

Arthit softened his look when he saw Toy smile. Arthit feels sorry for bursting out on Toy but in his opinion, the timing is really off and everything feels forced. However, he is now stuck with Kongpob.

Kongpob and Arhit are rooted to their spots. People around them are moving, yet they aren't. The noise in the streets are rumbling as people rush to go home, yet all they hear is silence. They are only separated by a meter, yet the distance between them feels like a kilometer. They used to know each other inside and out, yet now they are both on the outside looking in.

Where do you begin? Where do you begin to unfold a love story that is now a was?

Arthit and Kongpob are now forced to face what they fear the most, open up the history between them, not knowing if what they'll find is comfort or more pain.

With no one making a move, Kongpob starts.

"P'Arthit, wanna go to dinner?"

>


	3. FB: Between Life and Death

FB=flashback

<

It's been a year and they are still standing. Whatever qualms they had before Kongpob went to his study were quashed. Arthit's initial fear that they wouldn't survive the long distance was refuted. Dare they say that this physical separation made their relationship even stronger.

Uncharacteristically, Arthit was the clingier one of the two while Kongpob was abroad. He would always check up on his junior, asking if he was doing well or if he had taken his meals. However, he also knew to give Kongpob some space for his studies.

That's why Arthit was shocked when Kongpob came back to Thailand halfway his study. He was ready for Kongpob to hear it from him when the latter texted him to pick him up from the airport, but he can't deny he was happy they'll be reunited once again.

Turns out, Kongpob had a three week break before his finals that semester. He knew he had to study but he decided to study in Thailand, where his motivation was.

And truly, Kongpob was motivated to study. He'd wake up early and sleep late. But he didn't just study. His mornings included making sure Arthit was ready for work. His afternoons involved tidying up the apartment. His evenings were about ensuring Arthit had a nice dinner to welcome him home.

This was the daily life of Kongpob and he wasn't complaining. He was grateful that he is able to work on himself and their relationship concurrently.

Similarly, Arthit was grateful. He now had more time to focus on his work, albeit the many breaks taken to talk to Kongpob. He was excited for the work day to end not because he didn't like his work but because coming home means being able to spend time with Kongpob once again.

The two weeks they spent together, from rushed mornings to long passionate nights, felt oh so short. Next thing they knew, Kongpob had to go back to China to take his exams.

The night before Kongpob had to fly back, both of them had difficulty sleeping. Arthit can't help but remember when he was ready to break up with Kongpob before he left for China. The uncertainty if they will survive the distance was his main point back then. After one year it was manageable, but not without hiccups.

The first months were about learning how to cope with their new setup. The middle months were smooth sailing...more or less. The last few months, not so much.

With impending changes in the Procurement Department, Arthit had to readjust his work pace to meet the changes in the department. First, Todd has left the company for another endeavor. Earth was supportive of this but it doesn't change the fact the team is now down one man. To add to the pressure, Danai said he will be retiring soon now that Dae is about to graduate, leaving the team with just three members. Earth said that someone will be coming soon to help alleviate the workload but that newbie will have to undergo training first before he or she can fully help.

Kongpob, on the other hand, was feeling the pressure. At the start of the program, he basically had to learn economic concepts from scratch. As the semester progressed, the theories became more complex, and he had to work doubly hard to keep up with his peers. Not to mention the language and cultural barriers that made things alienating for him.

In the last few months, they had less and less time for each other. Shorter video calls, fewer memes sent, and no more random check ups. They didn't really talk about how it came to that point. There was just a mutual understanding that they both had their own shit to do.

That's why the two weeks they spent together was special. The time apart made them hungry for each other and the passion in their time together is a validation that the fire is still there. Now that they have to separate again, it felt like going through the uncertainty phase once again.

Nevertheless, Arthit and Kongpob prevailed over the challenges of a long distance relationship after one year. What can another year do to them?

_A lot apparently._

<<>>

A week has passed since Kongpob left Thailand for his study. Arthit has met the new hire that will be working in the Procurement Department and from their initial conversation, the guy has an interesting background and seems nice. He was tasked to train him however before he could, things quickly spiraled down from there.

In one busy afternoon at work, Arthit unexpectedly got a call from his father while he was seated in his chair. For a few seconds, he just stared at his cellphone, thinking about the reason why his father would call him.

To be honest, these past few years, Arthit has been quite aloof from his parents. Ever since moving out of their house for college, Arthit loved the feeling of independence a little too much. In living alone, he can live according to his own terms, which is vastly different from the terms of his quite strict and conservative parents.

But aside from practicing independence, he also wanted to evade frequently-asked-questions such as: _Are you seeing someone?, When are you getting married?, When will we have grandchildren?_.

These are questions that Arthit have been asked before and surely will be asked again with a high probability every time he steps foot in their house. Usually he just shrugs them off and says that he doesn't have anyone in his life. However as the years passed,it has become more difficult for him to lie through his teeth.

For one, it feels bad to lie straight to his parents' face. Although his relationship with Kongpob is out in the open with his friends and workmates, admitting it to your parents is a whole different story. Arthit honestly doesn't know how his parents will react knowing he has a relationship with another man.

And the fact that they've been together for not just one, not two, not three, but four years already makes it stressful for Arthit to lie even further. Four years and his parents don't have any idea who Kongpob is. At least Mr Suthiluck has met him. Arthit can't say that his untruthfulness hasn't been hanging over his head ever since him and Kongpob became a thing.

So if you don't get asked the question you technically are not lying, right?

_"Did my father find out about me and Kongpob?"_

That is what came to Arthit's mind, looking at his still ringing phone. Maybe a picture found its way to his parents. After all, he knows some of his officemates still give him the eye ever since the revelation day.

Arthit thought about not answering his phone but decided against it. If his father found out, so be it. They will eventually know anyway.

Oh how he wished the call was about his relationship with Kongpob instead.

"Hi Dad, how are you?" Arthit greeted his father.

"Arhtit" Mr. Rojnapat replied, almost monotonously.

"Why did you call?" Arthit asked as he got a little nervous.

"Arthit, please come home." Mr. Rojanapat ordered his son calmly.

"Huh? Why?" Arthit replied at the sudden request for him to go home.

"..."

"Dad?"

At this point Mr. Rojnapat can't hold back. He gives away his emotion by letting some tears out.

"Dad?! What's wrong?" Arthit is now in a panicked state. He knows his dad is not a man who easily shows his emotions.

"I'm sorry Arthit. We lost your mom." Mr. Rojnapat breaks the bad news.

"..."

"Arthit, please come home. I love you."

"..."

Unknowingly, Arthit ended the call, without even asking the cause of his mother's passing. His emotions just started rushing and it left him speechless and immobile.

Arthit raised his fist against his mouth. He didn't know if he was going to vomit or what.

Tears started forming around his eyes and quietly, they streamed down his face. A few moments later, his silent tears became sobs and people around him took notice of his grief. They asked him what's wrong, but he cannot form the words in his mouth.

Next thing he knew he was on a bus headed for home.

<<>>

On his way home, Arthit was fighting back tears. He didn't want to make the other passengers uncomfortable with his ugly crying. But every now and then, some tears escape his eyes.

Arthit has always been a mama's boy. Growing up, his father, aside from being busy from work as the breadwinner of the family, was a man of few words. So it was his mother who he spent most of his childhood with. It was his mother who used to pick him up everyday from school. The one who helped him with his homeworks. The one who he came crying to when he picked up an injury. The one who took him to his guitar lessons and waited patiently for them to finish.

That is why it was hard for him to move out. His mother actually volunteered to drive him to and from college. However, the logistics were simply impracticable.

The separation from his mother was initially hard for Arthit. Now, he can't depend on anyone but himself. No more mornings and nights where he doesn't have to worry if he'll eat anything. No one to call him out for his poor choices in life. No one to hug him like only a mother can.

Eventually things got better. The comforts his mother gave him, Arthit found elsewhere. With his peers, friends, and especially Kongpob.

But on his way home, Arthit can't help but feel that he was truly alone.

No mother. Peers are busy with their work, including his work. His friends have their own lives and own problems to deal with.

And Kongpob, he is miles away.

The truth is Arthit never worked well alone. People were naturally drawn to Arthit and he fed off that recognition.

Right then and there, he didn't want to be alone.

_"Kong, I need you."_

With desperation, Arthit messaged Kongpob.

The thing is, Kongpob _was_ miles away, in the middle of his exams, fighting for his dreams. What did Arthit expect to achieve?

>


	4. FB: Time

<

The sun had already set and the moon was rising when Kongpob finished his exam in Macroeconomics. Looking at his phone, he saw that Arthit left a message for him.

_"Kong, I need you."_

Kongpob smiled.

To be fair, he thought that this was just Arthit's way of being sweet to him. Little did he know that this was Arthit's call for help.

 _"I need you too P'Arthit"_ Kongpob replied.

Waiting on the other line was Arthit. Once he saw that Kongpob replied to him, he quickly called his boyfriend to break the unfortunate news to him.

"Hello P'Arthit. How are you?" Kongpob greeted.

"Kong..." Arthit said with softness in his voice.

At that point Kongpob knew that the message earlier was not about Arthit being sweet. That voice calling him by his name felt emotional.

"P'Arthit, what's wrong?"

"Kongpob, my mom passed away."

At the mention of those words, Arthit burst out into tears.

"P'Arthit..." Kongpob was taken by surprise by Arthit's heartbreaking news.

For a few moments, Arthit's cry took over their conversation.

Kongpob for the first time didn't know what to say. He was fortunate enough to not have experienced yet the loss of a parent. He cannot imagine what Arthit was going through and that inability to empathize left him speechless.

"I need you Kongpob." Arthit struggled to complete the sentence, needing to say the words in between sobs. He needed Kongpob, needed him badly.

"I'm sorry P'Arthit, I don't know what to say. I love you so much."

Kongpob was at the verge of tears. It pained him to hear Arthit hurting. And it pained him even more that he was not beside him while going through this ordeal.

"I love you too Kong. Sorry if I don't say it everyday." Arthit said, still crying. This was him feeling sorry for not having said "I love you" enough to his mom.

"I feel it P'Arthit. And I know your mom knows it too." Kongpob knew exactly what Arthit was alluding to.

"Do you think so?" Arthit asked. He needed to be assured that his mother knew that he loved her even in her last moments.

"Yes P'Arthit. Where are you right now? Is there someone with you?" If he can't be, at least someone should be there with Arthit.

"I'm at the hospital. My dad is working on the papers, so we can take mom home." Going back to his hometown, Arthit went straight to the hospital to meet up with his father.

"P'Arthit..."

"Yes Kongpob?"

"Sorry I can't be there with you right now." Kongpob apologized.

"It's okay Kongpob. Sorry to disturb you. How are your exams?" Arthit knew Kongpob was taking his exams but he just needed to hear Kongpob, hear his voice that always puts the calm into him.

"P'Arthit, please don't be sorry. Thank you for letting me know."

"I miss you." Arthit deafitingly said. He knew he wouldn't be able to see Kongpob for quite a while.

"P' Arthit. I'll always be here for you."

"Kongpob, go back to studying." Arthit ordered Kongpob.

"P'Arthit, I can study later. Can I stay here with you?" Although he did have to study, Arthit will always be his first priority.

"Hey Kong, please just go and study. We're finishing up here. Please don't worry about me. I'll be okay."

The truth is, Arthit wasn't sure if they'll be able to leave soon. However he didn't want to take more of Kongpob's time.

He meant it though that he'll be fine. At least until the consolation he got from their call subsides.

"P'Arthit, please call me if you need anything."

"I will. Take care Kong. Love you."

"Love you too P'Arthit."

They ended their call.

Arhtit slouched back on his seat. He has stopped crying but grief was still evident on his face. It was nice to hear Kongpob's voice, but he still wished Kongpob was with him. If anything could at least make him feel everything will be alright, it was Kongpob's warm embrace.

Similarly, Kongpob hoped to be by Arthit's side at that moment. As he was walking to his dorm, he can't help but recall those moments when he was walking back to their apartment, eagerly anticipating to give and receive affection to and from someone he loves.

Now, when Arthit needed him more than ever, he wasn't there.

As Kongpob entered his dorm, only his textbooks which were sprawled out all over the table greeted him. He opened one and attempted to study but the frustration wasn't doing him any good. After every sentence that he read, an image of a crying Arthit pops into his head.

But what can he do?

Kongpob put down his book and draped his hands over his face.

Moments later, he turned on his laptop and let his heart rule over his head.

<<>>

It's been the two days since Arthit's mom passed away from an aneurysm.

In her last morning, she complained about an unbearable pain in her head. She took some medicine to address it but it didn't go away. She did not know it was not just a simple headache. Come lunch time, she passed out. Fortunately, a neighbor noticed and she quickly transported her to a hospital and notified Mr. Rojnapat. However, things were too late.

So now here was Arthit, on the last night of her mother's funeral. Arthit and his father decided to shorten the funeral primarily to save money. Plus, they were only expecting a handful of people.

What's not expected was how Arthit's friends were in attendance. He didn't not think they would come provided that it was in the middle of a work week. But both the gang from university and the members of the Procurement Department sans Danai were there to show support to him for the untimely passing of his mother. Even the new hire which he barely knew was there.

Arthit's heavy heart was slightly lightened.

Throughout the night, Arthit probably shared more things about his childhood than he ever did before. It was not because he was ashamed or anything. He just thought nothing was note-worthy. He described himself as having a typical childhood.

Typical or not, Arthit felt good reminiscing about those moments where he was void of adult problems. All he had to do back then was live.

The others also shared stories about their own childhoods. As it turned out, everyone else had a 'typical' childhood experience. Or at least they all wished they were still little.

Arthit never imagined that he could get these two groups together. The rowdiness of Prem, Bright, and Tutah were evident but Som-oh's loudness was not to be outdone. Luckily, Knot and Earth were there to temper the others to behave more appropriately given the occasion.The new guy mostly kept to himself, probably still feeling out of place amidst people who had known each other for a considerable time already.

It was getting late into the night and as much as people wanted to stay, they all had the following day ahead of them. When the time to say goodbye came, each one hugged Arthit with some even whispering words of encouragement to him. In a way, Arthit was thankful to his mother for giving him the opportunity to reconnect with his friends.

Since graduating, he saw less and less of the gang. And yes, he may see his workmates on a daily basis but at work, they barely have time to talk about mundane things.

The night eventually crossovered to the following day. The last few people have already left and Arthit and his father were cleaning up. It has been a long day or days for Arthit. The days have been going fast and slow at the same time.

The suddenness of his mother's passing and all the things that have to be done after the fact made everything like a blur. However, it was the reality of losing a part of your life that made the days unimaginably slow and agonizing.

Arthit was visibly exhausted. His shoulders were drooping. His eyes were already half-closed. His heart was sinking.

He was looking forward to lying on his bed and letting his body recharge. He just needed to finish up his chores before calling it a night.

Arthit was just about to be done. He just needed to take out the trash before he could finally rest. He took the trash bags used for the night and went outside of his house to place them by the curbside. As he was going back to his house, a shadowed figure was standing in front of their gate.

It must've been the fatigue but he can't make out the figure before him. Them belonging to a poorly-lighted neighborhood surely didn't help.

In Arthit's mind, he was a bit irked that someone came so late. However, he remembered that this person most likely knew his mother and wanted to pay his or her last respects to her.

With a little hesitation, Arthit walked towards their house, ready to greet their late night visitor and show him or her into their home. As he got closer though, the shadowed figure's identity was unraveling.

The mysterious visitor, who was unsure if he was in the right place, turned around to see where the footsteps were coming from. Sure enough, the footsteps were headed his way. And sure enough, when the footsteps stopped in front of him, he was in the right place.

Arthit had to blink twice to see if what was in front of him was real. Who knows his fatigue may have had the best of him causing him to conjure up images from his subconsciousness. He didn't want to believe it just yet until the other person spoke.

"P'Arthit"

>


	5. FB: When the Rubber Meets the Road

<

"P' Arthit"

Before Kongpob could say anything else, Arthit pulled him to an embrace.

_Is this real?_

Does Arthit really have Kongpob in his arms? More than seeing, more than hearing his name, he had to feel. Feel that warm and protective hug that only his Kongpob could give.

When Kongpob embraced him back, Arthit confirmed that the Kongpob in front of him was indeed real and not just a figment of his imagination.

Suddenly, Arthit found himself crying.

It had not been long since they last saw each other (considering they previously had to wait a year to see each other again). This time around, it has only been almost two weeks but a lot has happened then, at least for Arthit.

Indeed death is a life-altering event. When death comes to greet you, the lives you say goodbye to will never be the same.

Arthit just continued crying on Kongpob's shoulders. He was crying for two things.

First, he was just happy that he was with Kongpob. Just Kongpob being there with him during a significant moment in his life meant the world to him. That is taking into account the fact that Kongpob shouldn't even be there. He'll get to that later because at that moment, he was simply grateful for the love being shown to him.

Second, Arthit was crying because with Kongpob beside him, he could finally cry. It was not because he was holding his tears back all this time. But because with Kongpob being there, he could finally be vulnerable. With his friends, Arthit can share his feelings. With Kongpob, he can pour his heart out.

"P'Arthit. I'm here." Kongpob said as he also teared up at the sight of his loved one cry.

"And why are you here?" Arthit pulled back from the hug with a frown on his face.

"For you." Kongpob replied with that cheesy smile of his.

"Kong, you didn't have to. What about your exams?" Arthit asked with genuine concern.

"Uhm...I'm not sure yet. I'll talk to my professors and ask for some consideration."

Kongpob, who has always been a responsible student, felt irresponsible for the first time. It was indeed reckless for him to go back to Thailand without say or anything. However he wanted badly to be there for Arthit and he was ready to face the consequences. He'll go back to China eventually. He just doesn't know when.

"Please don't do that again. Don't throw away your future because of me." Arthit reminded Kongpob.

"But you're my future." Kongpob replied.

"Kongpob. You know what I mean." Arthit huffed at Kongpob.

It was heart-warming to hear that from Kongpob. However, Arthit did not want this to become a habit for Kongpob. At most, he did not want to prevent Kongpob from achieving his dreams just because of him.

"P'Arthit. I'll try."

"I bet you even spent a lot for a rush flight. How much? I'll pay."

"P'Arthit no need to. I wanted to be here."

After four years, the ever levelheaded Kongpob has become irrational when it comes to Arthit. Probably this act of foregoing his studies might be the most irrational thing he has done for Arthit.

"Eh. You're hard-headed as always....but thank you." Arthit said with a slight smile creeping on his face towards the end. "Let's go inside."

<<>>

After four years, this would only be the first time Kongpob would be at Arthit's house. Arthit, on the other hand, has been to Kongpob's house. Unknowingly at first. That's why it was really a shock seeing Kongpob's family picture hanging on the walls.

Arthit's house was incomparable to Kongpob's. The modern mansion that the latter has is way bigger and more lavish than the former's mid-sized humble suburban dwelling.

Finances were not really an issue for the Rojnapat family. They have what Arthit describes as enough. The same thing cannot be said for the Suthilucks who probably had more than enough to feed generation after generation of the Suthiluck clan.

Nonetheless, that didn't matter for Kongpob and Arthit. In fact they never really talked about money or what. After all, it's the person that they loved and not what that person has.

That is not to say that Arthit felt a little crappy inviting Kongpob inside his house which was messier than usual because of you know what.

"It's not much. But it's okay." Arthit said as they both entered the house.

"I think it's great P'Arthit." Kongpob replied.

The house was dark as most of the lights were closed. But there was enough light for Kongpob to notice the features of Arthit's home. The overall design and layout of the house was simple..The furniture looked like they stood past the test of time. The walls were plastered with frames containing pictures of the Rojnapat family. Due to the limited space, a lot of loose things were in random places.

Arthit's house was indeed vastly different from Kongpob's. But for Kongpob, Arthit's house may not be that spacious or modern, but it definitely had character. In the cracks on the walls of the house were signs of perseverance, modesty, and love for family.

"Mom, meet Kongpob."

Busy taking in his new surroundings, Kongpob was now a few meters away from Arthit who stood before a table filled with pictures and flowers. Walking towards it, Kongpob discovered it to be a table in memoriam of Mrs. Rojnapat.

"I think she would've liked you." Arthit said as he took one of the pictures of her mother.

Kongpob now beside Arthit, saw all the pictures of the matriarch of the Rojnapat family. Arthit has shown him pictures before but only now was he able to take in the face of Arthit's mom. Although Arthit really looked like the child of both of his parents, no doubt that the softer features of him came from his mom.

"You think so?" Kongpob asked.

"Yeah. At least now she got a responsible son." Arthit chuckled at the thought.

"You're responsible P'Arthit."

"Ask my mom and she will tell you otherwise."

Arthit can't help but remember all the times he fought with his mother over some petty things. Although the topics of their fights were petty, it didn't mean that the arguments that ensued weren't dispassionate. Sometimes days would pass before they became okay again. And it was usually Arthit's mom who would be the first one to make a move regardless of who was at fault.

"I'm sorry P'Arthit." Kongpob said as he placed a hand on the shoulder of Arthit.

"I hope she met you. Sorry Kongpob." Arthit, with regret, replied.

Arthit felt sorry for taking away the chance of them meeting each other. The opportunity was always there, he just didn't know the perfect timing and how exactly.

How does he introduce Kongpob? As his boyfriend? How would his mother react? Would he still have a mother after knowing he has a boyfriend?

For Arthit, maybe that was the last step he had to do before he could finally enjoy his relationship with Kongpob. To be honest to his parents about his Kongpob.

Unfortunately, the point was now moot. At least for his mother.

"I also hope I met her."

The case is the same for Kongpob. However, at least for him, his parents know an Arthit exists in his life. Not just the way they know him to be. Arthit is not just a college senior or a workmate. He is his love.

"Is your father here?" Kongpob asked.

"Oh yeah. Probably asleep." Arthit replied as he looked at the wall clock. It was now past three in the morning. In a few hours the funeral ceremony will commence and he still hasn't slept. He can't lie seeing Kongpob gave him a rush of energy. However, he thinks the sleep is catching up on him. His eyes were really heavy.

This doesn't escape Kongpob's keen eyes which were always focused on Arthit.

"P'Arthit. Go to sleep."

"You too. I know you're tired from the trip."

<<>>

Upon entering Arthit's room, Kongpob can't help but describe it as Arthit's apartment (when he used to live alone) on steroids.

The two staples of his life back then were toy figurines and music. This was evident in his room.

The walls had shelves with all types of toys that were neatly arranged. Arthit wasn't lying back then when he told Kongpob that the toys he displayed back at the apartment were only a fraction of his collection. However his collection wasn't growing anymore.

When Arthit grew older, his parents stopped buying toys for him. He used to save up to buy some but being an adult with bills to pay, he was forced to prioritize his money for basic necessities, which included money for dates with Kongpob.

Toys were on the walls but music was on the floor. A pair of guitars, one acoustic and one electric, stood just behind the door. Beside them, a shelf full of CDs and some cassette tapes. A few posters of Arthit's favorite bands back then were plastered on the walls not occupied by toys.

More so than toys, music was the lifeblood of Arthit especially in his adolescent years. While everyone was out there playing sports, watching movies, and partying, he was playing music. He once dreamt of becoming a rockstar, but the world had different plans for him and he became an engineer.

Sometimes he thinks about what his life would be if ever he had pursued music. But at the thought that he probably won't have met Kongpob, the regret stops.

Things do change when we grow old. Most of the time, our dreams remain as dreams. But along the way, life presents us with new opportunities that surprise us. For both Arthit and Kongpob, in another life they probably would have taken music and economics respectively in college. However they ended up taking engineering. And even though they are separated by years in engineering, they still ended up together.

Serendipity they say was the catalyst but it's their decision to stay that kept it going. It was Arthit's resolve to wait for Kongpob while he studied abroad. It was Kongpob's decision to be beside Arthit in this difficult time. In fact, Kongpob wasn;t just beside ARthit, he was in his room.

"I'll go sleep on the floor. Sleep on the bed." Arthit said as he opened his cabinet to look for a cloth thick enough to be a bedding. His bed was just a twin size, half the size of the bed in the apartment that they share.

"P'Arthit. I'll sleep on the floor."

"Kongpob. It's okay. Sleep on the bed."

Arthit was laying down the old comforter that he found when Kongpob basically pushed him to the bed.

"Sleep on the bed P'Arthit." Kongpob said as he will not allow Arthit to sleep on the floor. First that's his bed. Second he deserved it after a long and extended day.

"Then sleep beside me." Arthit requested. That caught Kongpob by surprise. "C'mon we slept together in way tinier spaces than this."

Arhtit had a point. Sometimes when they go out of town with the gang, they can't really be choosy in their sleeping accommodations and that results in cramming their bodies in tight spaces.

Without hesitation, Kongpob approached the bed. Arthit scooted to the side to make space for Kongpob.

After what felt like an eternity, they are now lying down side by side. The warmth emanating from the person beside them is amplified by the fact they are squeezed together. The slight touch of their skin, even through clothes, gave slight shivers that ran down through their spines.

It's not the first time they slept beside each other. However, the emotions brought about by everything that had happened was enough reason for them to savor each other's affection.

Soon enough, Arthit fell asleep. Kongpob followed shortly after.

<<>>

It's been only like two hours but it felt more like fifteen minutes when Kongpob suddenly woke up to the sound of a door opening.

Lo and behold it was Arthit's door where the sound came from and the person responsible for that is none other than the elder Rojnapat.

Needless to say, Mr. Rojnapat was shocked to see a stranger sleeping in his son's bed. With his son.

"Oh." Arthit's father muttered.

Kongpob sat straight up faster than he had ever done. Oh boy was he awake.

"Good morning Mr. Rojnapat." Kongpob greeted the elder with a wai with a face so flushed he may just have invented a new shade of red. Fortunately they weren't in a compromising position. But how he reacted might have raised some flags.

"Are you...Kongpob?" Mr. Rojnapat asked.

Another surprise. Kongpob didn't know that Arthit's father knew him or his name.

"Yes. Sorry. I'm Kongpob. Arthit's... _friend_." Kongpob apologized. He totally forgot to introduce himself. Plus, he didn't know to what extent Mr. Rojnapat knew about them thus the 'friend'.

Arthit never mentioned that he told his father about him. The fact that just a few hours ago they were talking about how Arthit wished Kongpob met his mom is a pretty sure sign that his father also didn't know him.

"Hi Kongpob. I'm not sure who but someone is looking for you outside." Mr. Rojnapat asked.

Another surprise. Who would be looking for him randomly at Arthit's house. It was his first time here and no one knew he would come. How did they find him?

Kongpob just had a puzzled look in his face.

"They're just outside." The elder Rojnapat repeated to bring back to earth the confused Kongpob.

"Uhh. Thank you Mr. Rojnapat. I'll go see outside." Kongpob politely responded.

With that the elder Rojnapat smiled at Kongpob and closed the door. Kongpob turned to the still peacefully sleeping Arthit and wondered if he should wake him. He decided not to as he knew his attempt will only be futile given the other's sleeping habits.

Kongpob got out of bed and walked out of the room. He found Mr. Rojnapat sitting at the dining table with a cup of coffee in front of him. When their eyes met. Kongpob smiled politely at the elder to which the elder responded with a smile too.

Walking towards the main door, Kongpob didn't know what or who to expect beyond it. He opened it slowly and saw a white van parked in front of the gates of the Rojnapat residence.

Another surprise. If he's not mistaken, that's their car.

Kongpob's eyes widened. This morning was just one bomb after another. He had to pinch himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

_How? Why? Who?_

He has answers to those questions but he just wasn't prepared to answer them.

Approaching the van, no doubt it was theirs. A sticker of Siam Polymer Group was pasted across its side.

Kongpob didn't know where his heart beat faster. When Mr. Rojanapat walked into them sleeping or at that moment when he was about to know the reason why a van bearing the sticker of his family's company was in front of him.

Once Kongpob was out of the gate, a person alighted from the driver's side. He didn't recognize who it was which is acceptable since his father normally rotates his personal driver with the company's.

The driver went to the side to open the sliding door where Kongpob was at. He swung the door open to reveal a person seated in the first row.

"Kongpob. Let's go."

Kongpob nearly jumped out of his skin at the sight of his father.

"Kongpob." Mr. Suthiluck with sternness in his voice called out to Kongpob.

Kongpob can't help but feel defeated.

His father must have learned about him skipping his exams in some way. What is this? High school? Where your teachers report you to your parents when you skip class?

What's more mysterious is how his father learned that he was at Arthit's house. How that happened, he had no idea.

Suddenly a forked road appeared in front of Kongpob. To the left was staying behind with the Rojnapats and attending the funeral ceremony. To the right was to go with his father.

However that was just an illusion of choice. Kongpob can't bring himself to defy his father at that moment knowing that he did do something wrong. His irresponsible actions for sure brought worry to his father who went to great lengths just to track him down and bring him home.

"Father..." Kongpob started, wanting to at least make a case for himself.

"Let's talk later when we get home." Mr. Suthiluck interrupted. He was visibly upset as his brows furrowed together.

Left with no choice, Kongpob had to go.

"Can I say goodbye first?" Kongpob asked his father, to which the elder just responded with a nod.

Kongpob can't believe what was happening. He shook his head in disappointment. He was disappointed in himself for causing such a ruckus in his impulsive decision to go back to Thailand to be with Arthit.

Coming back inside the Rojnapat residence, the elder Rojnapat looked at Kongpob's way as if asking what the guest outside was all about.

Kongpob didn't look his way and instead headed straight to Arthit's room.

No surprise here but Arthit was still sleeping. He now was positioned in the middle of the bed given that there was more space for him to move.

Kongpob collected his personal effects and one of his feet was already outside the door when he looked back at his sleeping boyfriend. His heart felt heavy that he won't be able to be there for Arthit for the funeral ceremony.

Without a thought, he walked towards the bed. He gave Arthit soft kiss on the cheek before muttering:

"I'm sorry P'Arthit. I have to go."

With that Kongpob exited Arthit's room and went to where Mr. Rojnapat was to talk to the elder.

"Mr. Rojnapat, I'm sorry won't be able to attend the funeral ceremony. I have to go. I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you for letting me stay here. "

"Thank you too Kongpob for being there for Arthit." Mr. Rojnapat replied. He was at least happy to know that someone was with Arthit in this ordeal.

Kongpob gave the elder Rojnapat a wai before heading out to the door. Before he could fully exit, his name was called out.

"Kongpob. Is Arthit awake? Do you want me to wake him up to send you off?" Mr. Rojnapat asked.

"No need Mr. Rojnapat. Please give him my regards." Kongpob replied.

Kongpob exited the Rojnapat residence not knowing that _that_ would be the beginning of his exit in Arthit's life.

>


	6. FB: Playing Cat and Mouse

<

The sound of an alarm rang through from Arthit’s room and beyond its walls.

It was the day Arthit finally said goodbye to his mother. That thought made him get up faster than most days.

In the nights ever since his mother’s death, he could easily fall asleep. Not that that was ever a problem for him. It was the mornings that had changed. No more snoozing of alarms or lingering in bed moments.

His mother always hated that habit of his. Every morning was a test of his mother’s patience. Aside from not wanting Arthit to be late, she lamented the fact that the food she prepared for her son got cold from all the stalling.

Unlike his mother, Kongpob had a little more patience with Arthit’s morning grudge. Usually Kongpob uses his charm in creative ways to force Arthit to get up. 

Arthit pulled his arms and legs in opposite directions while still laying in bed. He wished his mother and Kongpob were there to see him get up without the need for their nagging.

Wait.

Arthit laid his hands on his bed as if he was looking for something. He sat up and looked around his room from side to side and asked himself, where is Kongpob?

Or was it only just a dream? That he and Kongpob were together just a few hours ago and laid together side by side?

Arthit reached for his phone and no message from Kongpob. He thought that maybe Kongpob had gone out of his room to wander around the house. Yes maybe that’s it.

Arthit got out of his room to the sight of his father on the dining table looking over some papers. His father didn’t notice him as he was focused on what he was doing.

Was Kongpob caught by his father? Did his father send away the stranger lingering in his house?

Arthit went to the bathroom. No Kongpob. He went to their garden. No Kongpob. He went outside his house. No Kongpob. He went to his parents’ room. In case Kongpob got a little lost. Still no Kongpob.

Arthit frantically looked everywhere he could inside his house and no trace of Kongpob anywhere.

Maybe last night was indeed just a dream.

“Who are you looking for? Your mother?” Mr. Rojnapat commented as he watched with amusement his son running around the house like a kid looking for his lost toy

Arthit stopped at his tracks. He must’ve been running around in circles catching the attention of his father.

“Dad…” Arthit frowned at his father for the semi-inappropriate dad joke.

“Good morning P’Arthit.” Mr. Rojnapat greeted his son.

“Good morning Dad.” Arthit replied, still sporting a frown on his face, now because he doesn’t know where Kongpob is.

“Were you looking for something? What is it?” Mr. Rojnapat asked his son. He was acting naive. Of course he knew what, or rather who, Arthit was looking for.

“Uhh…” Arthit just scratched his head. He didn’t know what to say. He could easily explain that he had a friend sleep over but that’s a bit out of character for the Arthit known by his parents.

Luckily for him, his father spared him from that.

“If you’re looking for a Kongpob, someone came here to get him.”

“Oh…” Arthit sheepishly nodded his head. It was a relief that at least he knew the Kongpob last night was real. Although it worried him that Kongpob didn’t even wake him up before leaving and the circumstances of him doing so is suspicious.

“Your friend?” Mr. Rojnapat asked Arthit, curious to know who Kongpob was in his son’s life.

“Uhh.. yes. From school and work.” Arthit replied. No lies there.

“Oh he also works with you?”

“No. Used to. He interned in our company for a while.” No lies there.

“Where does he work now?”

Great more questions. Arthit is starting to feel uncomfortable about this line of questioning. Although he was telling truths so far, it was just to cover up a bigger lie. Their relationship.

“He’s not really working right now. He’s currently studying abroad.” No lies there.

“Studying abroad? Why was he here then?” 

Mr. Rojnapat is picking things up faster than Arthit would’ve liked.

Arthit felt like he was on the hot seat. It doesn’t look like his father will drop this soon. What’s so special about Kongpob that his father can’t stop asking questions about him. He didn’t do that for the rest of his friends.

“Ahhh he’s on a break.” Arthit lied. Who in their right mind would skip their exams to attend a funeral for someone that is just a  _ friend _ ? Heck if they switched places (knock on wood), Arthit most probably would not come home to comfort Kongpob knowing what’s at stake. 

“Break. I see.” Mr. Rojanapat responded with a sarcastic tone. “He told me to tell you he won’t be able to attend the funeral. He must be going back abroad.”

The going back abroad part, Mr. Rojnapat just guessed that on the spot. 

On Arthit’s part, it did make him curious and anxious at the same time knowing Kongpob had already interacted with his father.

“Yeah...probably.” This time Arthit sounded believable. He truly didn’t know where Kongpob was and what his plans were. That kinda put him off.

“Arthit, get ready. People will start to arrive soon and we’ll begin the ceremony then.”

Mr. Rojnapat had more questions that needed answers however they do have something important to do that day.

Arthit breathed a sigh of relief. That was short-lived though as he remembered what was about to go down. He has to send his mother away.

<<>>

Arthit went back to his room. Still no message from Kongpob. He tried calling him but to no avail.

Pressed for time, he decided to just leave some messages for Kongpob to read whenever that time was. 

<<>>

The drive back home was spent in grueling silence. Mr. Suthiluck took some business calls but no words were exchanged between the father and son.

Kongpob fidgeted on whatever he could get his hands on. His favorite object of affection would be his phone which was devoid of battery life. He was supposed to message Arthit to explain why he had to leave without notice but he forgot to recharge when he arrived at Arthit’s.

With no battery and a restless mind, he was stuck playing conversations in his head not only between him and his father but also between him and Arthit. He had some explaining to do to both men in his life.

For his father, he didn’t know where to start. He initially didn’t plan on getting caught skipping his finals. Worse, he didn’t plan on his father knowing why he did so. But at the fact that he found Kongpob in somewhere he shouldn’t have even known, maybe the elder Sulthiluck had an idea of the real score.

For Arthit, Kongpob just wanted to apologize for not being there for the funeral. That plus probably telling him that his father most likely now knows about them. Not a biggie. 

Upon arriving home, Kongpob went straight to his room and plugged in his phone. He changed into more comfortable clothes for the uncomfortable conversation he will be having with his father. At least in that aspect he can be cozy.

Once he was able to turn on his phone, messages from Arthit popped up.

_ “Kongpob. Where are you?” _

_ “What happened? I can’t call you?” _

_ “Please call me. I’m worried.” _

_ “The ceremony is about to start. Call me. Or I’ll call you later.” _

Kongpob shook his head in disappointment. He was upset at himself for causing Arthit to worry when he should’ve been the least of his concerns at a time when he was grieving at the loss of his mother.

_ “I’m sorry P’Arthit. Can’t be at the ceremony. I didn’t want to wake you up from your sleep but my father picked me up early in the morning. I don’t know how he knew where I was. I had to go back home with him. We will have a talk and I’ll update you later. Sorry :(” _

Kongpob was just about to hit send but he stopped. 

_ “I’m sorry P’Arthit. Can’t be at the ceremony. I had to go home. I’ll talk to you later. Sorry :(” _

That shortened message he pressed send.

Kongpob decided to opt for the shorter message as he didn’t want to add to Arthit’s pile of things to think about. Him leaving all of a sudden is enough. No need to inform him that their relationship may have been outed to their fathers.

Speaking of fathers, it was finally time to stand before the court and explain to his father why he was back in Thailand.

<<>>

Kongpob never felt more nervous as he was approaching his father’s study. His heart was beating so fast that his breathing couldn't keep up. If he didn’t know better, he thought he was having a panic attack.

Throughout his childhood, it was only on those rare occasions that Kongpob would be called by his father for doing something wrong. His parents never had any problems with him as Kongpob is an ideal son, if there is such a thing.

He was diligent in his studies. He was polite to everyone. He was a good brother. He did as he was told. Most importantly, he was rational in his decisions.

That’s why his father was visibly upset, upset enough not to talk to him on the ride back home. Because in this one time, he was irrational in his decision in the name of an unnamed love.

Kongpob knocked at the door of his father’s study. He pushed the door open to see his father sitting on his desk looking at some documents. Once his father noticed him, he set aside the papers he was holding to get ready to get down to business.

Kongpob sat in front of his father like an employee that was about to be fired. In his case, a son that was about to be disowned. If his father did find out his relationship with Arthit, everything is indeed up in the air.

The elder Suthiluck sported a frown on his face. He has worn that face ever since knowing Kongpob was back in Thailand. It grew a little deeper when he found Kongpob in a friend’s house of all places.

“Kongpob. Help me understand please. Help me understand why you’re here instead of taking your finals.” Mr. Suthiluck started with a level of calmness in his voice.

“Dad, I came back because…” Kongpob tried to explain but he was interrupted.

“Do you know how worried your mother and I were when they called us saying they couldn’t find you? You missed an exam and you were not in your dorm. Your mother cried non-stop until we found out you were back in Thailand.”

Mr. Suthiluck couldn’t help. He just needed to get that off his chest.

“I’m sorry.” 

That was all Kongpob could say. Knowing that he made his mother cry really slapped his face on the gravity of the situation.

What he thought was just a harmless skipping of exams thinking he could most likely get special considerations turned out to be a worrisome incident.

“I had to go through your credit card records just to find out you bought airplane tickets to Thailand. Don’t you want to continue your study? You should’ve just told us and we would’ve understood it.”

Mr. Suthiluck softened his tone. He did mean it that they would be totally understanding if ever Kongpob decided to stop his study and just go back home.

“You’re back in Thailand and yet you don’t come home or even tell us. I called everyone who might know where you are but you didn’t tell anyone.”

Maybe that was a bit of an overstatement. Mr. Suthiluck did try to call Kongpob’s acquaintances only to realize that he knew so little of Kongpob’s personal life that he was left grasping at straws.

Kongpob never really brought friends over. He never introduced them to his parents unless they have met personally. That wasn’t really a big issue since his parents wanted to respect his privacy and trusted him to surround himself with the right company.

Don’t know where to start, his father tried to remember the last person he met that knew Kongpob. That just happened to be Arthit who he had previously worked with for some projects with Ocean Electric. 

“I called Ocean Electric to look for your senior Arthit, but they told me he was on bereavement leave. I went personally to his house in desperation to find where you are only to find out you were there. Why Kongpob? Help me understand why you had to go to your friend instead of just coming back home to us. Is everything okay with your studies?”

Mr. Suthiluck asked. He has some conjectures but he wanted the truth to come from Kongpob.

“I wanted to attend Arthit’s mom’s funeral.” Kongpob replied with obvious tears forming in his eyes. The guilt obviously eating him up.

“Kongpob, I know your intentions are good, but do you really have to sacrifice your studies to do that? If Arthit is your friend, I’m sure he would understand if you weren’t able to go.” Mr. Suthiluck retorted.

_ But Arthit isn’t just a friend. _

Kongpob wanted to put out that missing key information but he doesn’t know if it’s the right time. Does he really want to add fuel fire?

“So nothing’s wrong with your studies?” Mr. Suthiluck clarified.

“Yes.”

Kongpob looked down. If anything else, that made his little expedition back to Thailand more fishy. 

“So you went all the way back here to attend your friend’s mom’s funeral?”

If Kongpob didn’t know better, he’d think that his father was catching up to his secret.

Kongpob just nodded in response. Still avoiding his father’s eyes. 

A few seconds of silence ensued after that.

In Kongpob’s mind, he was thinking maybe this was it, the truth about his relationship with Arthit will come out. There’s nowhere to hide anymore. 

Going full instinct mode, Kongpob was about to make the revelation but he was cut off by his father to his surprise.

“You know your mother and I love you very much Kongpob...I don’t know what’s between you and Arthit, but don’t throw away your future for a relationship.”

Mr. Suthiluck, sensing where this conversation is going, wanted to make things easier for Kongpob.

Kongpob raised his head and looked at his father. If what he was hearing is right, his father thinks that he and Arthit have a relationship.

Nothing can be truer than that.

Konpob looked at his father directly at his eyes. His mouth couldn’t say the words but his eyes could definitely show them.

It has been a long time coming for this moment to happen. Five years to be exact. Five years of loving in the shadows. Five years of shrugging off questions about matters of the heart. Five years worth of lies in order to live out your truth.

Kongpob knew this moment would eventually come. He has wanted to come out to his parents since the beginning. Throughout his life, he has never heard anything against same-sex relationships in their household. His parents always preached about that love is love, regardless of sex or gender. That is why it was easy for him to love Arthit.

However, that is not to say that he can easily admit it.

Kongpob would always think about what their family friends would say. Not everyone does have an affirmative opinion about topics that intertwine love and gender. In addition to that, he was also concerned about their reputation as a respected business enterprise. Would their business partners lose respect knowing that the heir of their company was engaging in a homosexual relationship?

Those are some of the reasons for him delaying his coming out party. But the main reason for him not coming out to his parents is he honestly doesn’t know what to come out to as.

Yes, the easy way to go about it is to tell them that he is gay. But he isn’t. Or is he?

Kongpob recalls his conversation with M when he told him that he doesn’t like men, only Arthit. That still rings true for him. His attraction to Arthit should not be misconstrued as an attraction to men in general since he has not found any other man other than Arthit attractive.

Just thinking about having to explain that odd situation to his parents stresses him out more so than the actual coming out. He wanted to be honest but he didn’t want to be seen simply as copping out of the issue.

Well he just admitted to his father his relationship with Arthit. He’ll just go with the flow of the conversation.

“How long?” Mr. Suthiluck asked. He was doing a quick math in his head recalling the time Kongpob spent interning in Ocean Electric. Maybe him and Arthit were a thing back then already. That’s why Kongpob was so keen on helping the company since he would be indirectly helping Arthit in the process. 

“Five.” Kongpob replied, voice breaking. 

Mr. Suthiluck’s face turned from surprise to heartbroken real quick. 

It surprised him that this undercover relationship has been going on for five long years. It pained him that Kongpob never felt comfortable sharing this with him. In some ways, Mr. Suthiluck felt like a failure for not being enough of a safe space for Kongpob for him to be able to freely express himself.

“Son, it doesn’t matter to me who you love. Wish you could’ve told us sooner because we love you for who you are. It hurts me to know you’ve been keeping this for so long.”.

“Sorry I disappointed you.” Kongpob apologized. 

“Don’t be sorry for loving. I’m not disappointed in your decision to love. I’m disappointed in you throwing your future away for it.” Mr. Suthiluck explained to Kongpob. He spoke like he knew what if felt to be in that position.

“Dad, I’ll eventually go back to China and finish my studies. I’ll ask for considerations from my professors.” Kongpob tried to explain. If that doesn't work, at least now he knows his father is okay with him dating Arthit.

“And what if they don’t give you? You’ve wasted not only time but also all the effort you put in this past year.” Mr. Suthiluck retorted.

Kongpob can’t help but agree to that point. It was indeed true he was unsure that any consideration would be given for his sudden disappearance. And it’s not only the effort in his studies this past year that would’ve been put to waste. The effort he and Arthit put into making their relationship work despite the distance would’ve been for naught if Kongpob can’t finish what he started. 

“Before I met your mom, I had a long term girlfriend. Seven years. Seven years from Grade 12, all throughout college, and two years after graduation. We always talked about our future, how our wedding would go, and how many children we would have. But we also had plans for ourselves. She wanted to be a doctor. Your grandfather wanted me to start working immediately in the company…”

Kongpob has never heard of this story before. All he knew was his parents met in the company and the rest is history.

“As she got further into her studies, she had to devote more time to studying. I also had to work more hours as more responsibility was given to me. Eventually, we lost time for each other and we decided to put on hold our relationship. We told each other if we were meant to be together, we would still end up together. We did not.”

Kongpob knew that line well. That line is the same line he told Arthit when he was about to leave for his study. Hearing his father tell him he had gone through the same thing and did not have his happy ending saddened Kongpob.

“Do you ever think about what would your life be if you ended up with her?” Kongpob asked. He wanted to open up another option. The option of sticking it through with your partner whatever personal matters you were going through.

“Yes and no. Yes, because it’s still a what if. No, because I’m happy with my life now. If we didn’t break up, if I didn’t experience that heartbreak, if I didn’t give myself a chance to grow, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I wouldn’t be someone your mom could fall in love with. I wouldn’t have you and your sisters.”

Mr. Suthiluck smiled at Kongpob. That past was a long long time ago. He is truly content with what he has now and wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I’m not saying you should break up with Arthit while you study. You already survived a year of it. What I’m saying is that you also have to love yourself. Give yourself a chance to grow. If you and Arthit decide to stay together, work on it but don’t forget about your own selves.” Mr. Suthiluck assured. He was afraid Kongpob might take what he was saying the wrong way.

Kongpob took time to absorb what his father was saying. Yes he might have gone a little overboard with his love for Arthit that he was willing to let go of his dreams for a moment’s comfort. 

“Kongpob, here, please continue your study.”

Mr. Suthiluck handed over an envelope to Kongpob.

Kongpob took the envelope from his father’s hands and opened it. Upon seeing the contents of it, he wanted to press pause since everything was happening so fast.

“Dad, what’s this?” Kongpob asked with a troubled look.

“Tickets for your flight. You’ll leave this afternoon.”

“But...I just got here…” Kongpob protested. Yes he knows he’s going back to China but does it have to be right there and then?

“Yes I know and later you’ll go back.” Mr. Suthiluck declared. “I’ve taken the liberty of talking to your professors and the administration and asked for their consideration on your behalf. They said they were willing to give it to you on the condition that you should be back there as soon as possible.”

Kongpob just stared at the plane ticket that he was clutching. Guess if he was just being honest, he didn’t want to go yet. He wanted to see Arthit again before he did and talk out things with him. However that would be hard provided that his father was practically sending him away by force.

“If Arthit is a reasonable man, he would understand why you have to go away. It’s not permanent. You can still talk to him everyday if you want to. Just please finish your studies first. Please.” Mr. Suthiluck pleaded.

Kongpob was left without a choice. The fact that his father went out of his way to fix the mess he created, by ensuring he still has his something to go back to China, makes it hard to go against his wishes.

That and the acceptance of his relationship with Arthit makes him want to obey his father. Who knows, if he fails in his studies his father’s opinion might change about that matter.

“Okay Dad. Thank you.” Kongpob replied in defeat and gratitude. An odd combination but that’s what he felt.

Kongpob put back the documents in the envelope and was about to go back to his room to collect his things when Mr. Suthiluck called him for one last thing.

“Kongpob. When you get back from your study, please bring over Arthit for dinner.” Mr. Suthiluck lovingly said. He has met Arthit before but he wants to meet Arthit again in light of recent events.

This made Kongpob smile. The relief to actually have your parents accept the one you love is indescribable, especially when the love in consideration is something many people find hard to acknowledge.

Kongpob went back to his father’s side and gave him a hug.

“Thank you Dad. I love you.” Kongpob whispered.

“I love you too Son. Do well.” Mr. Suthiluck replied as he reciprocated Kongpob’s embrace. 

<<>>

Kongpob went back to his room to check his phone. As expected, Arthit still hasn’t read his message as the funeral was probably still on going.

Since he has to leave Thailand, they may not be able to talk soon. So a message was all he could do. In terms of the content, Kongpob didn’t want to get into details about what he talked with his father given Arthit’s current situation.

_ “P’Arthit, how are you? I got picked up by my dad earlier. Long story. He wants me to go back to China that’s why I left all of a sudden. Sorry for not being there with you. By the time you read this, I might be in the air. Let’s talk later then. I love you P’Arthit.” _

After he pressed send, he gathered his things and went straight to the airport.

<<>>

The ceremony just finished and Arthit and his dad were back in their house. Understandably, both of them were emotional at the ceremony. Not to mention, they were exhausted beyond belief from the long nights of hosting people to organizing everything in between.

They say that losing a loved one really hits you like a truck after the funeral ceremony. It’s because in the funeral ceremony, it’s where you say your final goodbye. It’s the switch that you flip to move on with your life. A life that will never be the same again.

And Arthit felt that. His heart was heavy knowing that he’ll never see his mother again. He already knew that during the past few days but at least then, he was preoccupied commemorating her. Now, the feeling was sinking heavy in his heart.

As Arthit’s head hit the pillow, he immediately went into deep sleep, leaving something quite important, left undone.

That is to check his phone.

>


End file.
